Do you lead to serve self-interest or benefit others?

Last 2012, I got the chance to attend Boris Joaquin’s workshop on “The Servant Leader” offered by Salt & Light Ventures. During discussion on workshop expectations, I told Boris my hope that the workshop will not be about Jesus and judge what is right or wrong.

 I mentioned a prayer scene from “Gangs of New York” that made me further realize that our perspective of right and wrong greatly depends on what is happening around us and how we interpret the laws of the land.

Boris workshop was a relief in a lot of ways. Some values and principles I had were validated in a way but at the same time, it opened my eyes to a lot of things.

Also attended John Calub’s Firewalk Boot Camp last November 2011. It was a valuable workshop (firewalking was in my bucket list for NLP level 2) as it allowed me to be conscious on how I think, embrace my weakness, and achieve meta-level or mindset breakthrough (that reading a good book can’t give you).

At present times where new challenges and pressure are coming my way, it made me go back and reflect. Hopefully, this blog post where I will share lessons, insights gained, and my reflection, will also allow people around me to understand further how I think.

1. To serve rather than be served.

He who is the greatest shall be your servant. And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. – Matthew 23:11-12 (NKIV) 

During the reflection session at John Calub’s firewalk boot camp, I shared my natural instinct to serve as a path towards leadership. That profiting, beyond reasonable means, from my advocacies scares me. However, after that event, launching the E-Commerce Boot Camp to support my Start-Up 100 Project dream gave the comfort zone of doing it right.

It also affirmed that my direction in building a digital influencers community to empower individuals all over the country is not a bad advocacy at all.

2. Leading to benefit others

Boris reminded us to think about “are we leading to serve our self-interest or to benefit others?”

Have done and supported a lot of initiatives meant to empower others like teachers and students, bloggers, marketers, and entrepreneurs.

Whether authority is gained or not for those endeavors does not matter as the end result of how their lives change and improve is what matters most.

3. Life is about what you give rather than what you get

Reconnecting with John Calub last year was one of the best things that happened to me. I saw how much he gave himself to help others improve their mindset. The man is inspiring in a lot of ways.

I was actually thinking about John Calub’s Firewalk Boot Camp even before his Web and Social Media Conference. I guess our paths were meant to cross then. Am very thankful I attended his boot camp as what he shared or taught humbled me in a lot of ways.

4. Control your EGO

Boris’ discussion on ego made me conscious of my actions.

That discussing of your own humility doesn’t make you any humble.

Fostering a community environment versus competition is the way to go.

That when you show off or intimidate others by boasting to be the best, above the rest is EGO blown out of proportion.

That when you hear an idea and you are more concern on who said it rather than what was being said is

pride that eats you.

Recalled how thankful I was at that point and committed furthermore in staying grounded.

Last April 2012, I was already thinking about the Digital Influencers Marketing Summit. The

reminders I got on handling EGO gave me a guiding principle on how to do it right and sustain its big picture growth.

5. What goes on inside your head?members you will have, depends on what goes on inside your head.

The kind of leader that you are going to be, the kind of community members you will have, depends on what goes on inside your head.

Two peers approached me last weekend sharing what they intend to do and gave me a heads-up as we may directly compete. Shared to them that market competition will benefit the consumer and is always welcome. However, my only request is for them not to step on others or mislead by self-proclaiming themselves to be #1 or the best without any disinterested 3rd party bestowing such honor or title.

Thankful that they understood where am coming from. Shared the same respect for others and that point of view.

John’s lesson on stopping yourself from making any further interpretation on what is happening in your life, especially those done by others, can help spare you from unnecessary dramas in your life. Accept what happened as is – no more no less. Indeed, it was one of the best advise I got and glad to have followed it.

6. How you work?

One thing I enjoyed about face-to-face hands-on workshops is the chance to have a group diagnosis on situations presented. It makes you flexible. In the long run, comfort level on partnerships increase too.

7. Take time to calibrate

Am not as religious as others are. But knew that each action I make, positive or negative, will come back to me in three-folds.

I am used to solitude. Travel or do things alone. At times of trial, you can only count on yourself and the faith inside your heart.

Although I opened up four years ago and started working with others, I knew that giving unconditional love, being accountable, and kind are vital to make things work.

That you need to understand people when they are at their weakest. Rather than use their shortcomings against them.

8. A servant leader never asks anyone to do something they won’t be willing to do themselves.

Although this requires temperance as others will not be able to go as fast as you are.

I remember always asking the question when someone tries to get close or work with me, “kaya mo ba akong sabayan?” “can you give the same intensity that I will be giving?”

But I realized not all are ready for leadership. Some get drunk in power and forgot who they were. That the opportunity they got was something they are entitled to – rather than a favor.

9. Prayer for protection and contempt. 

When John Calub shared that people who come to our lives are a result of our “projection” or “like begets like’, it reminded me of “The Secret”.

But it also sinked in to me that whatever intrigues getting in my way are a result of the initiatives I’ve taken.

That sparks can fly when I entertain the idea of being interested or intrigued.

Indeed, God works in mysterious ways as trials or situations arise that can result to getting in a deep hole. But, to my gratitude, a way out or something happens that spares me from bigger trouble even though it hurt me (and often others too) in the process.

But if there is one thing that I have been praying hard for is to steer people, who might only hurt me (or me hurting them), out of my way.

That is why meetings or events that get cancelled or relationships broken, I look at them differently now. They are meant to be better that way.

So if you are like me that have read countless of leadership and thinking books from Robert Greene, John Maxwell, Edward De Bono, Tony Buzan, among others, I think you will appreciate Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges book – The Servant Leader. Joining Boris Joaquin’s workshop is definitely worth the investment.

If you have studied neuro-linguistic programming or need help in conquering your emotions further, I think you should explore going through John Calub’s firewalk boot camp and achieve that mind-over-matter breakthrough.

Reflection:

Examine your style of leadership. Do you lead to to benefit others or yourself?